Why You Need To Start Saying Yes

Why You Need To Start Saying YesI am a very shy person.

I am not sure if that is obvious or if that will be a complete surprise for some of you.

Sometimes I have to force myself to do things and sign up for things so that I will HAVE to do it. That may sound bad, but it’s really just because I am such a shy person.

I used to actually be even more of a shy person. I was always afraid to try new things, I was afraid to say yes to things and so on. The person I was just 5 or 10 years ago is completely different from the person that I am today.

This post will probably sound like I’m an advertisement for the Jim Carrey movie Yes Man, but it is true – saying yes more often can actually change your life. I’m not saying that you should do things that will jeopardize your life (you can still go skydiving!) or things that are illegal, I’m telling you just to start saying yes more.

There are many reasons why you need to start saying yes more:

  • You will meet new people.
  • You will learn more about yourself. If you are saying yes more, you will be constantly testing yourself.
  • You’ll learn from your successes and your failures.
  • You will feel empowered.

Here are my tips to start conquering your fears and start saying yes more:

What are you scared of?

First, you need to really think about what’s holding you back.

  • Is it public speaking?
  • Meeting new people?
  • Talking?
  • Trying new things?

What is it?!

Start saying yes to smaller things in your life.

This is a scary thing to say out loud, but I used to actually be afraid to just talk to people on the phone. I still did it, but I would almost always outline important things to remember so that if I ever tripped on my words that I could get back on track.

Yup, that’s how big of a loser I am!

I do think that I got a lot of that from my mother though. She would have me call people all the time, even if it were just to order pizza.

It’s because she was too afraid to talk to people!

Learn from your mistakes.

Even though you are saying “yes” to more things in life, it does not automatically mean that your life will get better.

You may fail at some things, but that’s okay. You learn from your failures, and then you can improve.

Do you find yourself saying “NO” a lot? Or are you a yes person?

What are your (big or small) fears?

 


Comments

Why You Need To Start Saying Yes — 23 Comments

  1. I am saying “yes” to this post! =) I’m exactly the same way, Michelle. I used to be so shy and afraid to say anything. Being an orientation leader in college broke me out of my shell a bit, but I still hated calling people. Then I got a job as a receptionist and well, it was my job to answer the phone! I don’t think I’ll ever be the life of the party, but there have been many things I’ve missed due to being shy, so I’ve been trying to say yes more often.

  2. Very positive post, Michelle! Thank you for it!

    As for me, the things look a little bit different though. I think that I have said “yes” too often in my life, and have always been afraid of saying “no”. For example, when shopping in a supermarket, I tried to avoid using “no” answering cashier’s questions like “do you have a discount card?” or “do you need a packet?” even if I really didn’t have it and didn’t need it. I rather managed to move on a detour, saying “I prefer paying by cash” and “I have a bag” instead of “no, thank you!”. Then one day I read somewhere in a newspaper or internet article (don’t remember for sure), that from a psycological point of view saying “yes” too often just means you’re pulling on yourself too much of RESPONSIBILITY.

    After that, I began to say “no” more often. Still, the habit was so strong, than to this day when I say “no” and shake my head I feel some stress. So I try to avoid at least shaking head and only say “no”.

    Good Luck for everybody who reads this!

  3. I know exactly where you’re coming from, Michelle — I’ve been incredibly shy my whole life! I’m terrified to talking to or interacting with people I don’t know, especially in large groups.

    But you’re 100% right that so many amazing opportunities open up when you start persuading yourself to try new situations and start saying yes. And for someone running their own business, being able to say yes and put yourself out there is really essential.

    It does take a lot of mental self-coaching, though!

    • Yes, saying yes can be hard. However, once you sign yourself up for things (such as speeches), you just gotta get over it!

  4. I used to be a yes person, now I find myself saying no too often. It’s something I want to change especially when it comes to meeting new people, public speaking and starting a business so I can do what I want with my time instead of it being dictated by a corporation. I’m not sure whether it’s shyness or the silly fear that I’m being judged at every turn but I think the only person doing the judging is me…I am my own worst critic.

  5. We are a lot a like! Being an insurance agent for a year forced me to get over a lot of my shyness though. I would have to talk to people on the phone all day long. At first I hated it but then it just became normal.

    But to tell you the truth I still get really nervous when I have to talk to a potential client on the phone or do a phone or video interview. I take like ten -twenty minutes to prepare before I’m expecting the call.

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  7. I’ve been on both sides of this…said “No” to everything and felt left out…said “Yes” to everything and got burnt out. I’m finding now that balance is key. And “Yes” it does feel good to try new things, even if it’s scary and pushes your comfort zone.

  8. I consider myself an introvert (ISTJ according to Myers Brigg) but over the years especially for work reasons I have become much more comfortable with speaking up and saying yes to opportunities. I look back and I’m glad I did change because I would have missed out on so many good experiences!

  9. Great post Michelle, I am quite a confident and outgoing person in general but sometimes struggle with approaching and talking to women (not sure I should be admitting this here ha)..

    Having said that I feel that saying yes can have it’s limits i.e. you’re only one person, what are your thoughts on this?

    • Yes, there is definitely a limit to saying yes! If you say yes too often then you probably need to learn how to say no 🙂

  10. I like the idea. Also, people may take your shyness as a snobbishness and never ask to do anything with you again. You need to accept more invitations and once in a while you need to do a bbq party or something like that to invite people. We cannot live alone in this world even though we have our laptops to keep us entertained.

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